There is little you can do about how your boss behaves. You may have some success is diverting her or interceding before she goes over threshold if you are quick enough to see the signs and are in a position to intervene appropriately. But more often than not, those opportunities too are outside of your control. What you do have control over are the consequences of the bullying behaviour as they affect you. How you react will either reinforce that behaviour – ie, increase the likelihood of it occurring again – or diminish it by changing the outcomes.

Doing nothing is often not the answer. Passive acceptance can be perceived by the perpetrator as reinforcing. Pushing back also doesn't work; meeting confrontation with confrontation simply causes the whole situation to escalate. And appeasement seldom works either. Trying to calm an irate person down may in fact infuriate her more. What is needed is the unexpected:

• Stand up. There is a really good reason why we have the phrasal verb "to stand up to" in our vernacular. Never allow your boss to talk down to you. Get to your feet and meet her at eye level. If you are uncomfortable standing, perch on the edge of your desk.
• Pick up a pen and pad. Poise them ready to write.
• Make eye contact. Keeping your face impassive and your eyes inquiring, look firmly into your boss's eyes. Do not flinch.
• Nod as your boss begins her diatribe.
• Note down every word your boss says.
• Say nothing, keep nodding. Behave as though you were her therapist.
• Look up frequently and re-establish that eye contact.
• Let her vent. Let her get everything out of her system.
• Keep making notes. Your boss might interrupt her rant to question why you are writing things down. If she does, tell her you need to be sure you understand exactly what it is she wants and this is the only way you can recall all she has to say.
• When she is finished, and she will stop at some point, she has to, wait a moment or two, then...
• Ask very quietly, "Is that all?" "Have you told me everything you wish to say?" You'll either get more, in which case you recommence writing, or she'll say "yes." She will agree with you. That's the cue for it to be your turn.
• Refer to your notes, and very calmly summarise or paraphrase what she said.
• Ask her for validation that you understand her concerns exactly.
• When you have that confirmation, simply say you'll get onto it right away.

Chances are the diatribe was over something insignificant that was the last straw in a string of mishaps this person has been accumulating during the day. Or it might be something major in need of immediate attention. Either way, this approach does several things.

1. It makes a documented record of the event. It gives you evidence, data, information that you can act on later.
2. It demonstrates to your boss that you are not taking her rants sitting down any more. It shows that you are taking control of the situation and sends a message that you are no longer a passive receiver.
3. It gives you something to work on that immediately gets you away from your boss and any further outburst.
4. And it will, over time, reduce the likelihood of further outbursts. Nobody like an employee collecting evidence of their anger outbursts. Your boss will think twice before repeating this behaviour again in the future.

Focusing on controlling the consequences from your end is an effect way of helping your boss to change her behaviour. You get what you focus on – make sure your focus is maintaining control of the outcomes. Manage to ensure your boss doesn't get away with the bullying behaviour and be ready to reinforce any and all signs of appropriate behaviour – however insignificant or minute. Your work experience will be that much more pleasant as a result, and so will that of your boss.